seasons

Last weekend,  Dave (hubby) took me to one of my favorite places in the world for my birthday...It's a hike in Stanislaus National Forest near Alpine Lake; we hike into Mokelumne Wilderness...I have hiked it several times, always at different times of the season but this was the first time at the end of October, when the top of the hike was awaiting what's probably happening there right now. (massive amounts of snow)

It was shockingly barren.  The ground that was home to the most glorious wildflowers looked like desert...it was cracked with dryness, and that grayish color that looks like nothing would ever grow there.  Dave said it actually looked like the moon...It was that--lacking.   I started to think, this ground is still very alive with something underneath...Those flowers I saw in July will be back.  This part of that cycle is important, necessary, on purpose, for the next part of the cycle.

Just like those deserts that I go through, those dry barren times when I feel parched, ignored, unproductive, unsure.  Those times in my life have also proved necessary to move me toward what's next...Hard to take, really hard to like, but necessary...and completely worth the wait.

To everything there is a season.  God did that--does that--on purpose.  I'm learning that that is actually a beautiful thing...

reality

I have a friend (thanks Jane.) who has challenged me to memorize Colossians 3.  Last night, as I pressed my head into my pillow, boom: it became reality to me.

Specifically, Col 3:4 which says "When Christ, who is your life (my life), appears, you, also, will appear with Him in glory." When CHRIST appears, I. will. appear. with. Him. in. glory.  That changed my whole mindset.  For the first time in my life, I was filled up with excitement for that day, with that Truth, and all the other tasks, duties, obligations, worries of this life evaporated...  It was exhilarating!

There's really no more to the story...I am just so excited to be excited for that to happen and so grateful that God made it real in my life...and wonder why it happened the way it did.

Think about it.  I have been working for days on memorizing that chapter, that verse.  Melding it into my mind. Hiding it in my heart.  As I did that, God made it real for me.  I have read the verse many times, but never really experienced it...Now I have.

It started with learning it--memorizing it.  That's what made that verse real to me.

You should try it.  Maybe memorizing scripture will bring it to life for you.

stagnate

This weekend, I was tackling weeds in the pasture when I found my bike.  Obviously, it's been a while since I've ridden...It made me think how when things stand still and aren't used, they get overtaken and if left alone, can be permanently damaged.  The vine is vivid, amazing, gorgeous... but out of control and robbing my bike of  its usefulness...

That could be me...overtaken by things that rob me of my purpose.  Even beautiful things can overpower if I am not actively doing what I was made for...I was made to know God, to worship God, and show and tell other people about God.  When I don't actively move toward that purpose, other things take over.  Even beautiful things...they stop me.  They make me stagnate.

I wanna see and enjoy those beautiful things around me.  (Thank you God for Fall.)  But I want more to move toward fullness in Christ...God, activate me.  Help me.  Show me You.

Somethin's burnin...

This morning I had a very cool thing happen at church.  There's this young man, maybe 17 or so...who is new to Grace.  Very humble, very quiet, very polite... He kind of blends in with the rest of the crowd and could easily go unnoticed.  He was baptized at the Big Event at Grace Church (gracechurchreno.org) .  He's new to faith in Christ and I'm here to say:  there's something burning inside...

He came up to my office and asked me to plug in his iPod.  He played a beat and shared a song he had written about Jesus that included this powerful....SUPER powerful, bold, creative rap that spoke the Truth about his transformation...

This quiet young man poured out his heart through this ability I would have never known he had the guts to do...

Makes me think:  How many of us are sitting on some kind of God-given gift?  How many of us are ok with blending in while letting some huge calling quietly die inside us?

Is God calling you to more?  Are you willing to step out and see what He does, through you?

What makes a good leader

The Global Leadership Summit is coming up at Grace on August 11 and 12.  Register at gracechurchreno.org.  As I think about  leadership, here are some thoughts on what I think helps make a great leader...Maybe I'll learn much more at the Summit.  I hope so.

A leader is willing to risk.  Willing to learn.  Willing to delegate.  Willing to let go.  Willing to help.

A leader is willing to let it be the other guy's idea...

A leader is willing to forgive.  Willing to apologize.   Willing to share.  Willing to give others ownership.  Willing to dream.  Willing to let others dream too.  Willing to stay.  Willing to leave when it's time...

Nothing earth shattering here...just thinking.  And looking forward to the GLS.

peacocks, daddys, and daughters

So we have a quickly growing flock of peacocks who think ours is their home.  They are beautiful, for sure, but also LOUD and MESSY.  David has had enough.  He has a secret plan to trap and relocate, just to thin the 'herd'.  His prize catch would be the most brilliant male, as he seems the most active with the ladies.  (This year, Dave threw away over 22 eggs...and still 4 chicks hatched that we know of...)

Yesterday, Dave's dream almost came true.  The cockiest of males had found his way into our dog run, and actually into a small igloo dog house inside the dog run.  The problem was, his tail feathers were too long and cumbersome for him to get turned around.  David rushed in the house with a sparkle in his eye. Let the relocation begin.

Enter Laura Lee.  Not happy.  She loves that peacock.  He's part of her childhood.  Tears.  Pleading.

Long story short, after hours of letting him try to escape on his own, we ended up pulling the peacock out of the dog house by his lovely tail feathers and setting him free....

Daddys and daughters.  that's how it works.    ;)

(feather fatalities)

What makes things matter?

Hmmm.  Here's what's helping me learn.

We have a dog named Bear.  He's sort of a pain...he won't let you talk to him without trying to bite your face (in a loving but wet bad breath sort of way...).  He makes a huge mess when he eats or drinks.  He eats all kinds of things not meant for consumption...He struggles with the whole housebroken thing....Lots of annoying traits.

But something happened a couple of weeks ago.  Bear got very sick.  Super sick.  He ate more of those things he shouldn't, and had a major, life threatening bowel obstruction.   The only treatment was surgery which cost a WHOLE lot of money.  Money isn't coming into our household like it used to and we had a decision to make.  Spend the money or say goodbye to the dog.

We spent the money.

Here's the interesting part.  Now I find myself so incredibly attached to this dog.  I want to be in his face...I want his attention.  I am totally in love with this dog.  Why?

I think...it's because I invested in him.  When we spent the money, we 'bought' more ownership...once we put our money on him...our heart followed.

Interesting.  What else works this way?  Any ideas?

I'm thinking generosity.  Generosity to our friends, to our city, to our church. Once we commit with our checkbook, amazing things happen in our hearts.  

my friend Shelly

I have a friend who has been very sick for years.  For a long time we had a long distance relationship, meaning I only made eye contact with her at church, then found her for my hug and huge smile.  I was drawn to her.  Still am.

A couple of years ago her sickness became very chronic and severe.  She has COPD and could no longer breath on her own.  She was in ICU; Her life was sustained by a breathing machine, which caused all kinds of problems.  She was on high levels of all kinds of meds, and was pretty out of it most of the time.  God did something so extravagent for me during that time...He made a way so I was able to see her almost daily during those weeks of her hospitalization.  He wanted me to learn. Sometimes she knew I was there, sometimes she didn't.  There came a time, actually several times, when she had the choice to turn off her breathing support.  Many of us encouraged her to stop the painful process and go to Jesus.  But she knew...she know God wanted her to keep on.  She kept fighting.

Eventually, amazingly, she got better.  She was moved to a rehab center, and after many weeks of hard, hard work, she got to go home, where she lives now.  She is cared for by her family, and last night, once again, God did something amazing.  When I came out on stage to play keys, I looked out and saw my Shelly.  She was there to worship.  To worship the God who made her, who allowed her to get sick, and allowed her to live.  

What a great example of how God uses trials to mold us, shape us, and draw us to Him.  I have never met anyone more in love with Jesus than Shelly.  I have also never met anyone who has had to work so hard to just...breathe.

Next

I heard a talk by Holly Wagner yesterday at Mercy Ministries (www.mercyministries.org) in Sacramento.  She was talking to a group of young women struggling through abuse and addiction.  She was talking to them but she spoke to me.  She said a lot of things I can't remember but what stuck is this.  God's desired path is in front of you, not behind you.  What matters is what you do next.  More forward with determination and when the waters get rough, Jesus will see you through.

God's will for me is in front of me...What I do next is what matters.  What you do next is what matters.  Moving forward, leaning into what's next, is what works.  It helps me learn more, lead better, and get to where  I want to be.  (ok blog done.  what's next?)

Change is good

Lots is changing in my life.  My daughter is graduating from high school, my son who's in college becomes more independent every day, I got a new car, I sold my new car...Strategy at my church (www.gracechurchreno.org) is one thing, then it's another.   Sometimes it's sad.  (My kids growing up.)  Sometimes is exhausting.  (Managing things that don't matter, like cars.)  Sometimes it's maddening.  (Nothing named here. :)  )

I am learning this: Nothing should be static.  Nothing is designed to stay the same, except the Word of God and the Truth of the Gospel.  Everything else is supposed to change.   God made it that way...We are in a constant state of moving, either forward or backward.  When I get especially irritated at change, that's when I know I need a gut check.  A reminder that transformation requires change and I want to be transformed.  I want to grow.  I want to move forward.  I want to embrace change, even initiate change...so I can really make a difference.    What about you?  (Seriously...comment.)

relationship matters

Tomatoes are always a staple in my home.  They just are...I measure my need to go to the store  by whether I am out of tomatoes...I can run out of milk, bread, even coffee, but what really makes me go to the store is when I run out of tomatoes.  Hmmm.  Why?  Is it the taste?  Is it the nutritional value?

I think I've figured it out.  Tomatoes remind me of my grandparents.  Mama Jewell, the most generous woman I've known, grew and gave away most of her tomatoes.  (She hid the plumpest most robust tomatoes under her bed for her favorite friends.)  And Gran Gran, the meekest, kindest man I've known, who measured the value of a meal by how many colors were on the table.  (Tomatoes brought the brilliant red...)  Both people modeled great faith, integrity and unconditional love.

I love tomatoes because they remind me of two people I adored.  People who I respected, loved, miss, and look forward to seeing again...It's about relationship.    Things that matter to me, really matter, whether it's food, art, places, books, or movies...matter because they connect me to either God or people...people I can love, respect, give to, and do life with.

Tomatoes...relationship.  Who knew?

What do I know of holy?

1 Peter says 'Be holy, because I am holy'.  Indeed He is.  Set apart.  Beyond compare.  Different than the world...

Me?  Not so much.  But it is my desire...it is my hope and what I strive for...Here's the rub, though.  As I sat in class next to my smart friend Jane (@janeygal), she showed me a commentary in her "Dallas Willard" Bible (he's even smarter than Jane--) that said often we miss what being holy really means.  It isn't defined by what we do or don't do...and it certainly doesn't separate us the world so that we aren't approachable...or at least it shouldn't.  I was reminded that Jesus attracted sinners...he didn't repel them.  Who did he repel?  The Pharisees...

My point is this...in our quest as Christians to "be holy", are we setting ourselves apart to the point of turning people away?  Because if we are, we are not being Christlike.  People far from God should be drawn to us by how we are different, not turned away....

Be holy in all you do...Is that holiness about the being, or the doing?  Have we gotten that out of balance?  Which is more important?  Being holy, or "doing" holy...I think it's the being...it's who we are in Him...

I want to be holy.  Like He is holy.  Holy in that I love the unlovable, serve the unpopular, and see the invisible. I want to be like Jesus.  That's all.

(God help me.)